Stream 11 - Death

Ahahaha well here I am again and after a funeral together wholly humbled and humiliated by paz calling me about the pronunciation of demesne which I now discover has nothing to do with demeanour but more domain which is extremely upsetting but anyway swallow swallow oh chelidon etc how beautiful here I am anyway back and Lydia was so lovely and people are so kind the wholly funeral affair was made beautiful and wonderful and celebration by my amazing father whose eulogy was really eu and this wonderful image of him dancing out onto hamstead heath all tribal and naked and drummed and spear shotten and excellent you see he really is one of this nationals unrealised heroes recognised but not realised you see anyway here I am and rather coursing drunk but fine really I have such love for so many and not swaying about the place but calm and considered like Odysseus you know with rage rage against the dying pent up pent in the pen of sheepskin heart and manskin all what the hell am I talking about but you know anyway I know so there you are here is the lamp all downturned and solemn as if even his inert atoms mourned that which I can celebrate but no he is there and existing and that is celebration enough anyway here is about to toll midnight and the next day you see today at the funeral moving my eyes from the pro patria cross to the leaving hearse I saw in that wake a wonderful symbol of a child’s pram being pushed across the stones which the dead cart had just crossed, you see there dust and dawn interposed and there you have it and I saw that in the hymns and minds of men and the hearts and sayings and the nerves and in the very vacancies of synaptic nexons etc etc there was that symbol that keeps the whole thing buzzing the fact that dawn will follow dusk yes that the sun will rise and even if that is a co-incidence of atomic vagaries and random coalitions it may still mean something in the short space between the retina of my dark and yearning eye and the pulsing caverns of my heavy brain
Tom tom tom tom beat beat the animal inside yet nonetheless I can make better music out of scores unknown to the rocks and vacant stars, yes yes, you see yes one day you may understand the value of the truthful lie ha ha keep up ha

Midnight of Monday-Tuesday 28th-29th January 2008